Confession

I’ve felt so sure and confident about myself lately that I tricked myself out of remembering one of my own problems. See I have been so focused on not letting myself fall back into a sad pit which made me rediscover what I like and stuff but in turn made me avoid what I need to do and what I am terrified of doing. I’m still so scared the only difference is that now I think it’s the slightly more common I’m scared of the future type. I use to be afraid of just feeling, but now I’m good with who I am and I’ve come to better terms with everything I think it’s time to go back to fully being in the real world. For me, that means fully diving back into my science degree and working towards a career in health care which is my dream, but I’m scared. I don’t even now what I am scared of I just, I know I have this intense feeling that is keeping me from trying again. I guess I’m just really scared of being the way I was last year. I was in a dark place and it was hard to accept and I know it wasn’t school because that is a huge part of who I am but if I checked out for too long, what if I can’t get it back. What am I suppose to do then, I need school for a chance at a life I have dreamed of since I was 11, maybe even longer. I just don’t want to lose my dream because I failed.

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