Quote of the Day

The word “depressed” is spoken phonetically as “deep rest.” We can view depression, not as a mental illness, but on a deeper level, as a profound (and very misunderstood) state of deep rest, entered into when we are completely exhausted by the weight of our own identity.

~ Jeff Frost



I remember this day. I remember how scared I felt and how unbelievably difficult it was for me to write, to even think those words aloud. I mean I could feel them for so long eating me inside but then when I had to actually push the thought out so that it wasn’t just some back minded plague, to have a chance to get rid of that feeling it just felt so painful. The not so great part is that I can still feel it, the regret and the pain I think I will always have it but now it’s not like this choking pain that I buried. It’s not like I can just easily admit the hatred I felt for myself really easily, I barely know how to express my feeling about my dad and its almost been 10 years since he passed away. The difference is that I’m able to express it like I’m doing right now. It’s like I needed to admit it in the real world to actually work through and I guess I’m glad about that part. I guess learning how to express those kinds of feeling within is the best to grow from them.

“I am just going to say this because I can’t pretend it’s not true. I hated myself when my dad died, and if I’m being honest I still hate myself so much.”

20 Days of Pretty Little Liars

8. Melissa Killed Bethany – Spencer receives a video message from Melissa, she recorded the night before, that was sent from the airport. When Spencer goes to watch the video Melissa explains that she will be returning to England and how their father has wanted her to go back since her confession at the police station on the night the Liars were missing. But before she could leave Spencer again she had to tell her sister the truth. On the night Alison went missing she saw Spencer with a shovel after hearing her arguing with Alison. Then when she saw the body Melissa had thought Spencer killed Alison with the shovel and from there she went on instinct. She didn’t want anyone to know what happened, so unable to look at her face Melissa pushed the body into the hole, cover her up and never spoke of that moment again. Now though she knows it was not Alison but Bethany and she wasn’t dead meaning she had buried a stranger alive, killing her. In her final farwell she tells Spencer she wanted to protect her and she that she lovess before saying goodbye.

I was really left speechless by this moment. I mean it was obvious something was going on and it had to have been about that night but still. It was just something that I could have never guessed, especially her reasoning. I mean it was different thinking that Bethany’s murder was a plot but then finding out that it was a really bad accident. I guess as twisted as the house of Hasting has seemed over the seasons it was a shock moment to watch Melissa’s confession.