Girl Meets World S02E26

Image result for girl meets stem,Girl Meets STEM – Riley questions her role, and the role of boys and girls generally,  during a pairs, science experiment. The objective is that one of the partners return to drop a ‘mystery marble’ into a clear solution so the next day the other partner can analyze the result to figure out how to turn the solution clear again. Riley becomes upset when she sees that the boys have left the girls to do the easy part while they do the science; this makes her angry and thus she refuses to drop the marble. This results in divide between the boys and girls the next class followed by Riley making a speech about feminism to her fellow female classmates but also them learning from Topanga that women tend to actually drift away from STEM subjects because essentially it’s not what is expected of them but that fact shouldn’t stop them from trying and dreaming. The divide between the boys and girls continues to the next day where Riley and the other call out the males for not believing in them enough to do science. Farkle is the first to apologize for making Riley feel that way, but during science class, the rest of the students are still divided. But after a sludge filled mishap amends are made and then their science teacher explains that experience was actually about the mystery marble, which was actually mud, but about the fact that girls beginning to drift away from science; he wanted to raise hope and awareness for the potential that every girl, and boy, equally have.

As I have mentioned before I am science girl, but until university, I didn’t understand how uncommon that was. Maybe in high school, I saw it a bit, how in my science class there were only several girls and a majority guys but I always wrote it off as there were more guys in the school than girls; I never actually checked but I always presumed.

It’s not like I never witnessed the prejudice and the judgments of how I was a girl and shouldn’t be in science or dream of being in medicine, I mean I dealt with that in my own house. But I didn’t really care, I’ve always known I want a job in healthcare and it really angered me when someone tried to stop that or discourage it.

I love science, I really love every aspect of it from the question to the process to the discovery, I love it all. I never saw it as a boy versus a girl thing, I always just considered it as fact for me.

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Songs

Image result for Lifehouse No Name Face 1. Everything – Lifehouse

Image result for Breathe Again - Sara Bareilles 2. Breathe Again – Sara Bareilles

Image result for The Fray The Fray 3. Happiness – The Fray

Image result for kim possible soundtrack 4. Could it Be – Christy Carlson Romano

Image result for Feels Like Today - Rascal Flatts 5. Feels Like Today – Rascal Flatts

Related image 6. Pehli Nazar Mein – Atif Aslam

Image result for Whitney Houston Whitney 7. I Wanna Dance With Somebody – Whitney Houston

Image result for I Get to Love You - Ruelle 8. I Get to Love You – Ruelle

Image result for Kelly Clarkson Breakaway 9. Breakaway – Kelly Clarkson

Josh Jenkins – I Still Love You Lyrics 10. I Still Love You – Josh Jenkins

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WE Charity

Image result for free the childrenWe Charity, formally known as Free the Children, was founded in 1995 by Craig and Marc Kielburger. The foundation is about not only helping developing countries but also about youth empowerment.

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My Depression

Last year, I was trekking for months, maybe even longer than that, to get a handle on my mental state. I just felt broken and alone and couldn’t understand any of it or anything. And I kept just telling my self to snap out of it, that I was being over dramatic and just needed to get back to normal. 

The scary thought, the one that made me really pause and realize that something was actually wrong and that I not only needed but wanted help or an answer, possibly both. My scariest thought was questioning my revelance in the life of others, in the world at all; I may have not actually questioned my life or had thoughts of hurting myself but I did question if my existence was revelant. And that was the point that I realize that maybe there was something more going on, maybe I really did need help. 

Conquered Fear?

I’m coming to terms with so many things in my life, at least I think I am. I mean I’m putting more of an effort in speaking my mind and stand up for myself and just recognizing things in general. But it took reaching an emotional low to get this point.

Even though I know all this and understand it better I still can’t let all my emotions out to another person. Writing it all out and sending it off to the virtual world is my outlet to get it all out but in the real world with my family and friends I push myself so hard to let out my surface level emotions but still feel the need to hide the dark parts. I told the people I considered my most trusted about my depression and try to talk more about my feelings now but I still can’t show any of them raw and sad parts of me. I’ve tried and I’ll keep trying but for now, this is the only way I can let those feelings be known, anonymously.

Family

I know what I want family to mean to me but that doesn’t mean it’s what I get. I want my family to be more connected if that even makes sense. I mean the only guarantee I feel like I have is that we have each other in serious situations.

I think maybe my biggest issue is that it’s like I have this image of what family should be like, or more accurately what I want mine to be more like, and there are small moments with some of them that I feel like I, we, have it, but overall I look and it’s just not there for me, for us. I feel alone and miserable and I don’t want to be; I just keep thinking that if I have a strong relationship with anyone in my family, I’d feel better, like I’d be less closed off. It’s like I have this feeling where if just had someone to be close with things would be easier. I don’t have a real sibling relationship either and feel like that’s a big thing for me too, like if I had that this whole just me and mom thing wouldn’t be so defining to me. Honestly, I have no idea what I’m saying anymore, I don’t even really think I know how I feel anymore, all I know is that I don’t feel right.

Fruits Basket

I have written a recommendation for this series before but I recently reread the manga and it just made me want to talk about the series even more, and pre-note this is probably going to be filled with spoilers. Like I have mentioned this is not only my first anime and manga but it is also one of my all time favorites. It’s just such a sweet and powerful story that totally sucks me in every time. The journey of all character and their back stories especially, they are all just so strong and filled with so much depth.

Related imageAll the zodiac members are shown to have a layer of darkness and struggle right away but then you start to learn just how hard the curse is for them and the more you learn the more important some things are. In my opinion, Yuki and Kyo’s rivalry, in particular, is really profound. Originally you just believe it to be a sort of nature thing, like the fact that they are the cat and the rat their spirits are always against each other but then as the story goes on you realize that isn’t entirely the reason. Kyo always felt isolated and hated for the fact that he was born the cat… What Kyo didn’t know, nor could he understand, is that even though Yuki seemed to be included and love the fact was that he felt just as isolated. … In both case’s envy plays a big role in their spite and their personalities are definitely factors in the form their individual rage and understanding comes in.

Image result for akito sohmaAs for Akito’s story, I have all these mixed feelings, I mean you can’t help but pity her because of her past but at the same time, she did so many cruel things that are just so hard to excuse. In the end, it really did seems like all she wanted was to be loved and accepted but her fear of being left behind and alone trumped everything. It made her cruel and lash out and honestly just made her slightly delusion in the worst possible way. I partly want to believe it was because of circumstance and because of her mother and her position but at the same time I can’t help but blame her as a person as well.

Image result for tohru hondaTohru’s story was especially profound in my opinion. I mean she starts off as seeming like this simple, innocent girl but then you realize how much more she really is and how deep her scars run. Just after the arc with her father’s storyline Tohru just became this whole new person to me and even if she is a fictional character I can’t help but admire her strength. I mean I always loved her character but just after learning about what she went through after her dad passed away and how much pain she was in but still being able to be this positive, smiling person, it just took her to this whole new level.

False Hope

I wonder if people that give false hope realize how much more it seems like a lie. I know it’s not always intentionally but that fact doesn’t change how much it hurts sometimes, scratch that because honestly, it hurts every time. Even when I’m prepared for it, when I expect the worst in the hopes that it won’t hurt, it still does.