Last year, I was trekking for months, maybe even longer than that, to get a handle on my mental state. I just felt broken and alone and couldn’t understand any of it or anything. And I kept just telling my self to snap out of it, that I was being over dramatic and just needed to get back to normal.
The scary thought, the one that made me really pause and realize that something was actually wrong and that I not only needed but wanted help or an answer, possibly both. My scariest thought was questioning my revelance in the life of others, in the world at all; I may have not actually questioned my life or had thoughts of hurting myself but I did question if my existence was revelant. And that was the point that I realize that maybe there was something more going on, maybe I really did need help.