Family is an especially fun topic for me because mine feels totally topsy turvy all the time and yet I still love them.
I really want my family. I feel so alone and disconnected lately and it’s like this nagging feeling inside me saying that I just yearn for my family. I’m not even thinking a family anymore, like I use to just think that I would eventually have that feeling out of my future family with my kids and where I have kids and happiness essentially, but I’m starting to think I want something more yet basic. I want my brother and cousins and just those relationship I feel like I need. I don’t know what it is or what I can possibly do to feel like I’m actually in or I guess to feel a part of it. It’s like no matter how hard I try or what I do I always feel on the outside. I don’t I’m just tired of trying and in any other situation in my life I would give up and stop caring so easily and without any thought but it’s like because it’s my family and what I think that should mean I just can’t give up.