Nothing like the texture of silk. I really can’t put into words the flow and feel of silk I just know every time I wear it I love it anew. This is actually a shot of my favourite lengha, similar to a saree but more skirt-like. Beyond it just being the most beautiful and striking shade of blue that I have ever seen as the fabric it’s the way it feels when I wear it that makes it my favourite. I just feel glamorous, I mean I know suits usually look glamorous and stuff but this is different. The look, the feel, the flow it just gives the whole outfit this new dimension that makes you feel fabulous, maybe even a bit confident.
Despite myself, I have a tendency towards the solitary approach to life. As much as I’d like to be an outgoing person and want to be around people sometimes without really realizing it I push to being by myself. I guess it might have to do with my kind of hiding away and searching for comfort alone. Whenever I really feel strong negative emotional especially, I just push away from people out of this twisted thinking I have about not wanting people to see me that way. It’s not even really about vulnerability or burdening I think anymore I just somehow made it my instinct, maybe because of genetics or maybe because as a kid I am always felt like I had to deal with things alone. Either way, I still have to push myself against going that otherwise, I would put myself into an existence of solitude. I say all these things about wanting my family and leaning on friends I can trust but when things get bad I know I will lean towards wanting to tough things out by myself. I’m just hoping my awareness of this makes me not fall into the habit again and shut myself away again because I have to say as much as sometimes I want to be alone for a bit actual solitude kind of just adds to the pain.
What is shinier than a girl’s bling, at least it is when it’s new. At first, I was thinking maybe a picture of a raven because I think that they are attracted to shiny things and you know ‘ooh, shiny’ would be what it was thinking. Then I realized that I actually I am not completely sure if that is true or a myth, also I don’t have a picture of a raven and I’m not totally sure where to get one. After that, the answer was simple, the shiny that I am attracted and that would be jewelry. Thus one photography session featuring said jewelry later and here we are. Jewelry is definitely something that can easily catch my attention, my personal favorite has to be of the metallic variety; now that I really think about it actually jewelry is really the only shiny thing that I am attracted to, in a personal wardrobe sense. Even with that, I am still more of a simple and basic over colorful and chunky pieces. My go to jewelry piece has always been a small pendant, usually of the gold or silver variety, been so since elementary school. I do try to explore and try different statement or trendy pieces but I must admit that I will never truly abandon my go to classic.
The first thing that came into my head is the song “Roots Before Branches,” and since I think that the idea behind it is pretty solid I think I’m going to roll with it. It’s really hard for it to be black and white though; I mean you have to grow and ‘branch out’ a lot before you can really feel whole and even still sometimes it’s not enough. But even still before you can ever take the big chances you need to be able to answer one big question, ‘Who are you’ and ‘Who do you want to be.’ Without those, you can’t really build a foundation have any roots to ground you, I guess is what I am trying to say. A person can’t expand their horizons or grow in any sense really without knowing somewhat about who you are and what you want, both in the grand scheme of things and the more supposedly basic, every day.
I’m not just randomly spilling all this out either, I’m saying because I’ve felt and I’m truly learning to understand it. You need to explore and experience and work on yourself before you can make the decisions about the rest of your life or if you want lean on someone. If you don’t know who you are on a level that you actually understand yourself as a person, you so easily get lost. From personal experience, it feels pretty impossible to find that person again; I went to the rediscover and rebuild approach into growing my roots. I have to admit I’m scared to really start branching out again, I feel like I failed so epically last time that I’m terrified I might not be able to pick myself up next time. But despite that, I still want to do it because every day I feel more confident as a person and that confidence is what makes me want to find more and be more.
Guess who got her wisdom teeth out last week, this girl. My jaw is still in so much pain and I haven’t had any solid food in over a week but the thing that is bothering me the most is the fact that I haven’t been able to properly brush my teeth ever since. Seriously my mouth feels constantly off. Beyond my general craving for popcorn and carrots, just not together, the thing I desire most is just a solid brushing of my teeth. Right now I’m still being all gentle and trying to not open my mouth to much followed by gently rinsing. If you ask me that’s not a real brushing of the teeth. Honestly all I have been imagining for like the last week now is just getting my usual medium bristle toothbrush and having an intense cleaning of my teeth; I can just feel the minty cleanliness that would follow. Alas though I’m going to have to keep dreaming a little longer because according to my dentist I have to be gentle for another couple weeks, especially considering the swelling going on with my gums. The removal of wisdom teeth, quick easy surgery followed by absolute patient to return to normal; really such a fun experience, not.
Rather than ‘portion’, I thought ‘potion,’ so that’s what inspired this post. Honestly, I am a girl that believes in a world more magically acclaimed than our reality. Don’t get me wrong, I am a total believer in science but at the same time, I still believe in the existence of the mystical. I mean yeah the more we delve into science the more things begin to seem technical but even if we manage to explain everything we can never truly know if everything we know is true. Like I don’t even know if the sentence technically makes sense but I am confident my point is made. As for potions, in this reality, I believe we call it chemistry, who can go against the fact that the things we do with it and create can’t be magic. We use it to enchant kids so why can’t we still be enchanted by it as adults. I guess my point is that just because we think we know more doesn’t mean we have to believe less, whether in the unexplained or the unrealistic.
I thought I couldn’t think of anything deep to say about a bridge, I mean I have some good pictures, very aesthetically pleasing, but no good stories to go with them. Then I remember this when and went to the park to take the best picture I could. This was the first sight I was when I moved to Victoria. My mom and were just driving around looking at apartments and we decided it was time for a break, we followed some signs and arrived at Beacon Hill Park. I instantly thought it was breathtaking, I was surprised that it was just actually a park, there in the middle of the town. Now it’s just a place I love to go to just look at the water before I go for a walk through the park. In a photography sense, I just love taking pictures there, especially in the summer after all the flowers and blooming. Every corner is simply beautiful and filled with color. This bridge was the first thing I saw when I was about to start the next step in my life and now it is one of my favorite place in all of Victoria.
I’m thinking Scooby Doo, as in Meddling Kids. Anyone else with me. As a kid I saw this show as beyond amazing, in fact, I think it may have been my first step into an interest in mystery. It was fun trying to put together the clues and when I was a kid, sometimes even known, when I actually managed to guess right before the unmasking I couldn’t help but feel some pride. I really wanted to think of something more to say but if I’m being honest I can’t think of anything without well getting completely lost. That being said I guess all that’s really left is that for me Scooby Doo has to be one of my most memorable classics. I was always a fan of basically all the Hanna-Barbera cartoons but the Scooby Gang was one of my top favorites, right after The Flinstones and Yogi Bear. They are all just fun series to go back to and reminisce about your childhood while binge on some episodes; the person I usually do this with is my mom.
When I first saw this prompt I asked myself, ‘what’s a qualm.’ Turns out a qualm is essentially a feeling of doubt or worry, I feel like I knew that but I’m not positive. Anyways after I found that out the next thing I thought, ‘Wow, that’s kind of perfect;’ not the whole feeling that way part the writing about it part. Looks like I was feeling like this for over a year without even knowing the different way to describe it. Last year my emotional state was at a low, between the self-doubt and worrying and the uncontrollable sense of failure, not to mention another whirlwind of various emotions. The whole year just seemed so unbearable, looking back now it even seems more so.
The sucky part is that sometimes I think I’m still feeling that way, a lot of times I wonder if it’ll ever go away. Either way, I’m learning who to manage that feeling but I’m not going to lie, it’s hard sometimes even impossible.